I’ve been perusing old cassettes and videos with enjoyment. Pride has a tarnished name, but there’s no denying the wonderful feeling I have as our son asks amazing questions at age four. It’s the same when I listen back to our daughter at the same age singing pitch-perfect and rhythm-perfect songs and made up ditties. Or watching my oldest daughter dance through the thistles expressing joy and unfettered movement.

I feel strongly connected to them at these moments. Jeremy’s mind seems at that instant to be so much like mine, where curiosity, pattern-seeking, and imagination meet. Five-year old Heida’s dancing echoed my joy leaping around the dance floor folk dancing.   Allegra’s love of music echoes mine, and her clear notes remind me of something I thought I had lost. I used to sing a cappella songs on pitch, and later I noticed my fingers would produce on a flute any note I heard as long as I didn’t think about it. Perhaps I can bring that back with practice.

My pride in them connects to pride in myself. This sounds very self-centered. Do all parents face this issue? Fortunately, our children have a healthy humility that keeps them well-grounded.   They’ve gone miles beyond us in so many ways that they’ve created their own reasons for self-respect.

So I can enjoy the feelings of proud connection to them pretty much without guilt.